Soooo….he’s still in there. Contractions got stronger, 3 minutes apart, yadda yadda, but when we went in, I hadn’t progressed at all and they started to slow down. Prodromal labor. Luckily for me, the contractions slowed to a stop and I have been able to rest. Some women do this thing for weeks without a [...]
» Read the rest of this entry ...Is this it? Steady contractions for over 12 hours, increasing in number and intensity….sounds like it might be. I still have my doubts. It might be another 3 weeks! I can still talk through the tightening, they aren’t really consistent, no plug, show or water. But in case this really is the beginning of the [...]
» Read the rest of this entry ...My thoughts have been so scattered these past weeks. Anxious, impatient, hormonal, excited, at peace, ready, unprepared…words that run in and out of each other at a mind-boggling pace. Just yesterday, I spent much of the morning sloshing around the house, feeling exhausted and entirely overwhelmed. I just wanted a break - not as Pregnant [...]
» Read the rest of this entry ...One year since the loss.
One year since we started the long, steep journey of grief.
One year since our world was turned on its head.
One year of healing.
One year of hope.
One year of clinging to each other.
One year of adjusting.
One year of laughing, crying, living.
One year of goodbyes and hellos.
I miss you today, my first, my [...]
My good friend Jessica gave us the wonderful gift of her photography skills yesterday. I went from feeling like your average “holy-cow-HOW-much-weight-have-I-gained?!” pregnant lady to “I-love-every-pound-and-curve” momma. Amazing how some creative angles and lighting can help a woman feel good.
We are working on making every moment of this pregnancy a celebration. Not easy. Especially when [...]
I celebrate you.
Your elbows and knees, pushing into my ribs.
Tiny feet and hands,
Small movements that have moved mountains,
My well-loved son.
My bumbler.
Today I trust that you will not mind the chaos.
We wanted to bring you into routine.
Security. Control.
The weeks tick by and I slowly realize this cannot be so.
Mom and Dad cannot harness the world by [...]
Tomorrow marks an important day for us. We go from double digit weeks to SINGLES. 9 weeks. Nine. NINE. Wowza. And after spending time with my newborn neice and nephew (from either side of our family), I am battling a huge sense of unpreparedness. “What was I thinking?! I’m too young/unstable/inexperienced for this….I don’t [...]
» Read the rest of this entry ...My beautiful friend had a beautiful baby.
I don’t have all of the details (yet), but from what little I know, I am encouraged that birth can be an intimate, intense, and wonderful experience that does not need to be handled, managed, and medicalized. I am praying that my own birth follows suit.
I can’t stop analyzing. I am writing books in my head. I am having theoretical debates with no one in particular. My brain feels alive. Who knew that motherhood would be a stimulant for my mind, rather than a suppressant?
I am fascinated at the shift of my interests toward all things pregnant and baby. My [...]
So, my little nugget has a pen*s! We are so thrilled about this little guy…he was as cute as can be depicted in an ultrasound! Watching him move his little hands and practice swallowing had me in a puddle on the floor. If it’s this bad in black and white, 2-D, I am DONE FOR when [...]
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