Ruth Stoops

Sometimes when I look at Landon I almost start to cry.  He’s so beautiful.  So genuine and perfect that I get this ache in my gut.  I can’t tell if it’s pure love or the gravity of the fact that I am NOT qualified to be his mother.  He is worth so much, this precious [...]

Landon LOVES his daddy.  Sure, he turns to me for food and comfort.  I am comfort food.  But Dad?  Dad inspires chubby leg kicks and silly grins.  Dad is exciting, funny, and strong.

Watching Layne grow into fatherhood has done just what I expected it would: made me crazier about him.  He’s patient when I’m frazzled, [...]

I have a happy baby.  It’s not a secret.  And while I try to pretend that if he is smiling, BEAMING, at you that it is because you are really special, you could honestly be a ceiling fan and get the same response.  He does that to his favorite people, toys, and blank walls.  He’s [...]

I haven’t really documented your life very thoroughly.  We don’t have a baby book, I don’t have a blog dedicated to each month of your life, and I didn’t even take a weekly picture of my growing belly while I was pregnant with you.  Do I feel a little guilty?  Of course.  But I trust [...]

It’s 3:42 am.  I am doing my best to ignore my crying/whining baby.  We are resolved to let him “cry it out” tonight.  He’s slept through this feeding several times before, so I know he will survive, but that fact doesn’t really make me feel like a better mom.  Ugh.  This sucks.
I’m nervous even sharing [...]

…and I still can’t find my words.  Believe it or not, my lack of writing during this time has had less to do with time, and more to do with brain capacity.  But I want/need to try.
Motherhood is INTENSE.  Intense joy, frustration, loneliness, connectedness, love.  Sometimes I feel so clumsy, fumbling around in this new [...]

So, my little nugget has a pen*s!  We are so thrilled about this little guy…he was as cute as can be depicted in an ultrasound!  Watching him move his little hands and practice swallowing had me in a puddle on the floor.  If it’s this bad in black and white, 2-D, I am DONE FOR when [...]