Mean Mom
It’s 3:42 am. I am doing my best to ignore my crying/whining baby. We are resolved to let him “cry it out” tonight. He’s slept through this feeding several times before, so I know he will survive, but that fact doesn’t really make me feel like a better mom. Ugh. This sucks.
I’m nervous even sharing this. I fear that my readers - you dear, dear people - are going to judge me:
“She’s one of those moms? Doesn’t she realize babies cry when they need something? They’re only babies for a short while, girl. BUCK UP. That poor baby. Poor, deprived, eternally scarred baby.”
OR
“HOW old is her baby? Four months?! This is the first time she’s trying this? What a wuss. She’s totally letting that baby call the shots in her home. My 5 kids all slept through the night at 3 weeks. Get some backbone, woman.”
Well, maybe those aren’t thoughts from you all. Maybe those are the crazies in my head duking it out. Maybe all of you trust us as parents and realize that we think this particular child is ready for this particular response at this particular time. Maybe.
It’s amazing how much I want validation that I’m “doing it right”. Who even has permission to tell me that? I don’t know. Then again, I don’t know much at 3:53 am.
*Yawn* Ok - knock on wood, y’all - it’s been quiet for a few minutes. I think he fell asleep again.
………………………………………………………………………………
Not only was he asleep, but he was making those sweet, contented sighs when I went down to our room. VICTORY! He slept for another solid 3.5 hours, and smiled at me when he woke up this morning. I guess he doesn’t think I’m a terrible mom after all….which is good, considering he’s my boss.
Let’s be honest - I didn’t have a good night’s sleep. After the 30 minutes of waiting for him to fall asleep, I laid in bed for another hour waiting for my brain to slow down (busy work week). Then, I woke up before Landon and had that irrational, but common, oh-my-gosh-is-he-breathing? panic and had to check his crib before I could fall asleep again. BUT, I think this is the start of something good, and I woke up encouraged.
Lord, sleep is great. I need it and so does this babe. Here’s to nights of uninterrupted rest, for they are coming to the Stoops home! (Eventually…)

